Mar 2009

Almost quarter to 3 am on 15th of March. 2 week from now date for cemetery cleansing. Time for family gathering and chat about my fail destiny. Some sort like compilation of complain lodge with our ancestor parent. One thing for sure is our financial getting bad to worst. Cannot imagine luck run out and dry for this two months now. Huge debt to repay worrying my mind might collapse one day. Last week received loan package to close all small amount card. Now biggest worry will my card. After this coming two month, will try to push for remortgage 3G5. What else can a solution other than life ending. Soon maybe end in a second without pain but to my 2 lovely daughter and yet to see them grown . Don't know where is can God give me clue how to solve financial burden. One stop may not be engage to stop permanently. Just cannot take it why luck for me so bad to worst this 2 month. Hope against hope with prayer to every altar search for solution still met with tumbling block. Nothing to blame just myself.Sound like very upset and don't know what to do. Into 2 month of lost in betting digit really put me down. No consolation now already Rm 400 over own to boss. What is this shit get to me to put so much hope on digit bless for my luck. Really bad bad situation am in. Bleak and blackest day ahead.
Just don't know what to say anymore. Job load is there to perform but not support enough to help. Whatever institution or financial push will the end of limit already.Only life is not precious enough to value of this debt.
Not in mood to write any more just too much of hope for luck turn shit now. Awaiting for death sentence very near. Not in any hope Lord Brahma do care or help. Now just something not happy about when all hope not accomplish. Very Sad day ahead when financial crunch like this with no hope of help from God or family member.