Dec 2009

10 mins pass 3 am on Dec 05. Half way through last week of Nov, not publish something very beautiful joy of walk away from work halfway. Maybe here's the words that save before call it night....Quarter to 2 am on Friday morning of Public Holiday for Korban. Hindu will be sad as today most of sacrifice for prayer will COW. Just like a wedding dinner which we just attend late at 8pm. Of 180 tables or more serve with Piggy baby. Just imagine one joyous day been turn to sacrifice of 200 piggy baby. Not much if compare with daily serve at Hatyai restaurant during this holiday season. The same goes to Thanks Giving day on Wednesday. What a rush of day when clock out at 37 min past 5 pm. Still the best day ON Tuesday rush back to Perda to collect bank draft and send back for term loan. What lenghty hours went to Esplanade take a deep breathe for fresh seaside air. Return to Tesco to buy my working shoe. When come to 8pm all known blast out as into dark storm of night. Hope for Wednesday for a change. But nothing seems to work now. Home debt keep increase going to be 1K.

At home scramble to flush out my card problem. Only my term loan will drag me down with pain to suffer for 4 years. While my sis trying to overcome this shadow, my wish it will end or I ended my way.That was yesterday. Now it's Dec means season of joy for Christmas.Check through face book and view picture of some friend add in unknowingly by me. Found Yingkhwan in face book with Chwon name there too. Thus he manage contact her but not inform me. Maybe something got to change when am not entertain him. Not seek status of comparison as in working environment.

Senior Engineer also gone already. Left only 5 of us as Process Eng with me just a new comer. Anyhow, will not see it end of term especially if got to report to power snatcher. This power snatcher been directed by CEO to rebuke one old GM. This new guy only preach management theory which he hope very much will work in QD..If management theory work, then long ago QD not into high defects producer.Time will see it through and let time decide what will happen.

Not much can I do for QD now. Coming Tuesday, will our IQA again before final push for TS audit on Dec 21st for 3 days. That's very close to Christmas ya.... very sad day for my close friend been haunted by this power snatcher. He'll see his day count down out of QD after 12 years. Earth will rotate and continue rotate till one day,yes one day stop at someone and pointing toward time warping. That's when all hope put to test and glorify god's hand working. All just in fiction but not action.Time will tell and heal those unexpected victim.

Got to sign off till year end ....

Oct 3rd 2009

2 am on Saturday Morning of Mid Autumn Festival day October 3rd 2009. Remember did wrote something negative mind sense which i think someone nearest know how to delete it. Sound of sad day ahead as today just drop off both FIL and MIL to airport to visit their daughter in KL. Touching moment seen two girls sense they are not going with them. Dearest only know how to hit out of financial turmoil with backlash eldest yearn for MacDonald. Still the big one go to her. Sometime try to feel happy as once when we can land in Airport for a visit. Maybe that's enough for me but not for eldest as she take flight twice in 5 years now empty. Don't know why some draw back as i sense we are apart. While I try to neutral she will not allow it. What can I do just keep calm to my self with deep prayer to get this financial turmoil out of my life asap.

At work also not so good with so many restriction and powerless movement. Project 500mm under gone final lapse before LDI to come in. Must be dreaming as on Friday come to know Indian Eng no longer hold passport with them after 3 incident of leaving without notice. One guy did express his lost desire to work here. Seek help to work else where new technology is apply. Maybe this company is moving in line to get new technology but in a slow pace just because it's a China Man Malaysia company. Not a MNC or any other global player. No setback if not seen new technology get in before I call it for retire. Now no longer call for LDI as it;s known for before. It's something call for step repeat and Projection imaging.One of close friend that left without notice make no contact over months after he request for some SPC chart. Maybe busy with Production schedule or boring to talk about this company.

Another 10 days to celebrate eldest 5th years at her school. Must be very excited to cut cake for her friend eat. Will my second time celebrate with her at school. Till then wish something miracle as no more financial doldrums and will be stand by all guards of alert just like last Wednesday Tsunami hit Pago Pago and Padang earthquake. Feel like I was there where Tsunami hit Samoa. Cannot imagine those survive there and Padang area. Rare occasion both earthquake happen within 12 hrs apart and deadly disaster scale.

Last weekend of Monday public holiday of raya did drive up to Cameron Highland afternoon and drive back before sun dawn. What a drive and very tired some and steam of driving. Also did not get a wish to stay longer since it's not planned trip. Limitation of budget yet we dare to go. After all this the only change we may travel for sighting instead of oversea.

Will write again after mid of Oct where another Public holiday on Monday Oct 19th just 1 day miss celebrate early 24hrs. Let's see if hope of get to highland for longer time and hours.

August 2009

Quarter to 3 am on Sunday Aug 16th 2009. So long time fly by now Mid of Aug and move toward Sept so on to Oct. Started Normal 5 days work early of month. Enter 2nd week already. Thought of overcome this stigma when Sr got to leave for China plant to run Led project. One day before next flight out of Penang Island, he remember this request to delay normal shift. Feel like to quit just soon as possible but if dearest read will lecture. Anyhow won't jump in conclusion until got a fine financial start up. Well my former dept for new takeover by new engineer still one to go. Means two join left one only on high job load. While my one remains because I still cover for him at Clean Room and AOI. Feel like to hand over all and just concentrate at my 2 Dept. I sense PD not supportive as local so call designer about former help to alter program to suit it. It take time to adapt fully as well to learn new CAM program. I don't know when will they change as changes on way for them as they bring back yield improvement project. With me as one of 5 top defects to focus really crack. Remember last all method been done but not change just carried on the same. Nothing will change until someone from top management get change totally. Just wait and see if anything possible stand to start cocoa plantation. Ridiculous as it may thought of. Chocolate demand will not flourish but hard work of take care limit is there.

Financial real see bleak future as lucky star not shine at all cost now. Count down to Christmas without program just as last years. Going backward as we thought will see a sad ending to meet the days end. Bank chasing over payment and work load with sad tale to chat about. Just ignore all the sad tale as time roll over when left with 48 hrs of time with kids. Very interesting to see how my 2nd girl used to walk and learn to chat. Pain of all when she fell and hit floor most of time. Jealousy is there between her sister. Eldest girl always look away days of my return and together play games or watch Mr Bean movie. Imagine every Monday morning when leaving for work around 530 am she will search for me. Once she try to hold my hand while sleep and not let go till she's fully Oz off. If can wish upon meteor or shooting star, return always everyday and left to work with her sight understand. Time will soon depart all this when she grow up.

Like today both girl at our bed once a while Saturday night. When come Sunday night, eldest will be sad of this. Just now when going down with milk accessories, she thought Monday morning am leaving for work. She went down to look for me. Shock for me as I thought she must fell a sleep. Something like lack of security when every Monday morning come means to her.

While I wrote this blog just with prayer for God to answer her wish when can we always together and without feeling of Monday morning blues. Only time will tell and soon everything got to change. Hope of something miracle to settle our financial turmoil. Once I dream of my 3rd sis praised my big brother for financial secure. Heard of her eldest son also join his brother big brother work there.

That's all for Aug as time move to Sept in another 14 days time.

July 2009

What a month of change to take effect. Yesterday received email to know this coming Monday,6th of July am back to normal shift. Means 5 days work leave 2 days with my kids. Feel like to quit as no guts to do unless am back to Ibiden. Just a dream to reach Ibiden as my age no of return will not climb up. Worst as one big issue to handle. Don't know if am qualify to answer ET NCR means for ET tech wrong wiring. My mind just collapse as I received sms from ET tech as to check my email. Friday whole day did not check email. Any how time has come now. Just a matter of time only to enter normal shift means 5 days work and break can go out for 1 hour.
After boss rush my promotion letter, there is some backlash from the HR boss. Maybe some undecided issue pertaining to political motive. Maybe something link is there as my NCR reply bounce back. Understandably to meet her for some comment. Before enter customer meeting about quality issue, the way she handle it look like low profile people.Not that I admired previous QE people, just can't see how it was handle as manipulating some facts.
Just see how long can she and QE last in hiding or manipulating issue. In their mind they think customer is fool by them easily. But remember not always you can fool everyone and everyone to be fool by you. Let's nature take it's course.
So much about work. Better quit if can found some peace mind of working nearby. My age not adaptable with some over qualify people when am under qualify people. We re sub sub people as they are Stub stub people.Home away home and work away work. So many problem crunch in July. This summer July really big headache as home also facing some issue. Need to attend to take leave this mid of month as in law leaving for outstation due to their Taiwanese daughter home. Some controversy as is sound like. What ever it be let it be. Time and nature will take turn just as in feng shui. Bad I did not take feng shui seriously. Mind still guessing what may come next.
Financial term nothing change or from bad to worst. Hope again hope of dream spell in doom.
Don't know what to do if to rescue this up. Big amount only miracle see in Xmas dream of HOhohoho. Former colleague starts direct sale of milk powder colostrum alpha lipid. Got heart to follow but not heart to buy due to current financial situation. Going for a big crunch soon if not pull out soon as cards not settle for 2 months.
Got to sign off as time now 35min past mid night on to Sunday July 5th.

May 2009

3 am on Monday May 18th 2009. On leave since Last Thursday. Only back to work on coming Wednesday. MIL and W at KMC only back on Wednesday. So look like need my friend to drop meat work and home this Wednesday. Don't know how if cannot need to travel via bike as it sound risky.Maybe with this old bike or worst with new bike without service over 6 month. Financial status look worst and just don't know how to end it or just a matter of time to brink down with Chapter 11. GM and Chrysler going to chop of thousand of dealer in US.Nothing improving as it was last year. Gaming luck really bonk to dead as over 3 months or 90 days nothing great than destroyer whooping over 1 K debt.

Today's also last week of school before 1 week holiday means my daughter's kindergarten exam. May not be well prepared as family in disarray or facing health issue. Now this day eldest a bit of scared of my frustration when something not achieve or badly done. Such a disturb image cast over her mind as she not used to annoying before. Never the less to said of 2nd which is really timid to be alone. Cannot leave a inch away from her. Best time when she's a sleep. Over this four days really frustration as she get agitated and rash develop too. Sunday night get in Maid to start take care and handle MIL work. Costly than last time, still better for MIL recover as her Dr said removal operation well done.

At work last weekend had a Brain Storm wreck up as our team score top. Not my contribution yet feel very sad cannot join them. Even though I won't join if got time bcos not interested as topic been destined. Anyhow more challenge ahead as more paper work to cast out future of company work.

Got sign off now as 5 am to guide maid on podrigde cooking and general utensil cleaning as well as mop floor.

Apr 2009

Quarter past midnight on Apr 24Th 2009. Two days on EL with a bleak bleak future for my family. First insight our financial doldrums not improving only worst.Second come to this EL was due to MIL admitted for Gallstone and bile complication. Here's financial already pile up yet add in here another issue. Thirdly coming weekend will be crucial if make it make it then if fail to make it then we've to plan what's next should be done. Just like about to face execution squad we almost know we are there. Once the occupant of this 1457 gone or count down, nothing more than fears will crop in. Just like last month sigh end of world. 2 days send wengy to kindergarten maybe the last till we finalise something. Sad enough if we did not make it. What's the point of something miss out and spell the end? Just as i see relative want to step up spear to aim at us or me. Maybe very complicated yet i don't want to blame anybody. Just as hatred grow at home so does at work. 2 days not there, read a lot of garbage email flying around without solution or may be no solution. A fight still a fight when to consider give an inch to get a meter.

Come Monday I need to back to work. Look like my 2 girls need to place at 3G5 till am back 730pm. Then am sure their fears crop up and time to close eyes will think twice. Hope for the best not worst. Sometime you don't want to fail but it fail for you unintended or purportedly. Just as I heard from Franco who's Babysitter did not want to come back after 2 years. Now had to sent his children full time till 530pm. Don't know how as we're out of idea to roll. One statement of bank not settle. Something is in the air to fire or be fire hazard soon. Sadly to say as our 2nd daughter just about to turn one years old and thing keep on getting bad. Nothing to blame but just blind me here.

We don't have sound financial status to match but at least give us some air to breathe. Once it's gone means no more.Nothing in this world is permanent just a Pieces of time before it depart from us. Sound like sad story to tell if our wish to see our children grown up. Well, my dream of retired in south NZ with Astronomy whole night of years. All is just illusion as nothing can help us out of this doldrums.Did remember few days before dad past away, he try to convince us he's
good Samaritan. A tale to tell nothing more we need to face it openly.

Where do we go from here after all this mess soon or later crop up? The answer is not just one hope of prayer rather than a miracle to shows. Well, here the conclusion......shifting out from here back to 3G5 at least till thing improving.

Mar 2009

Almost quarter to 3 am on 15th of March. 2 week from now date for cemetery cleansing. Time for family gathering and chat about my fail destiny. Some sort like compilation of complain lodge with our ancestor parent. One thing for sure is our financial getting bad to worst. Cannot imagine luck run out and dry for this two months now. Huge debt to repay worrying my mind might collapse one day. Last week received loan package to close all small amount card. Now biggest worry will my card. After this coming two month, will try to push for remortgage 3G5. What else can a solution other than life ending. Soon maybe end in a second without pain but to my 2 lovely daughter and yet to see them grown . Don't know where is can God give me clue how to solve financial burden. One stop may not be engage to stop permanently. Just cannot take it why luck for me so bad to worst this 2 month. Hope against hope with prayer to every altar search for solution still met with tumbling block. Nothing to blame just myself.Sound like very upset and don't know what to do. Into 2 month of lost in betting digit really put me down. No consolation now already Rm 400 over own to boss. What is this shit get to me to put so much hope on digit bless for my luck. Really bad bad situation am in. Bleak and blackest day ahead.
Just don't know what to say anymore. Job load is there to perform but not support enough to help. Whatever institution or financial push will the end of limit already.Only life is not precious enough to value of this debt.
Not in mood to write any more just too much of hope for luck turn shit now. Awaiting for death sentence very near. Not in any hope Lord Brahma do care or help. Now just something not happy about when all hope not accomplish. Very Sad day ahead when financial crunch like this with no hope of help from God or family member.

Feb 2009

Quarter to 2 am on Valentine Day. Wow...Valentine day.Yes but what a sad day look ahead with financial downturn. Back to the square one when first time write this blog. Not last year but last 2 years maybe where family matter make square into triangle. Not much hope of getting better affection as I did lost or drop off my RM50 yesterday. Already poor enough yet disaster strike without symphony. What else can I said now just taken cash injection for card settlement now seem to seek another cash injection. Just don't know what cause my luck o unlucky through out my whole life. Someday sometime will win me back to prime time. Always hear others success or positive news. Why can't they face as my situation now. Blame it on unfair justice to God but also condemn ancestor.

Chinese New Year over more than 15 days now. With much hope to see some light at the end of Feb as January end the worst if not disaster a bush fire in Australia.MIL created havoc of jealousy but I can't help as I used to shunt my voice as I feel very sad day of Valentine. Anyhow did bought KFC dinner plate box for my love one. All war anger at this home due to afternoon out to feed Monkey at Tokun hill side without invite her. Actually to bank in my 2nd payment not long away but due to key in another car at work thus I drive away kancil and rush to Aeon city and let my eldest play some game. Also missing her DS lite game which was "flooded' by her nightmare urine last weekend. Not I did not tend to ignore her as we bought new DVD on Princess of Island.Over slept as she flush out and cause DS totally devastated. Knowing it's impossible to get another one nor it's too heavy to get another one unless we settle our card debt. What can i do now just a dream away to others fall off their Vatsu and my turn of fen shui to rule. Just kidding as i always heard others good thing while our always bad months, days., and hours of second too.

From work scene look like all was left alone without any project to follow up. As most people need to present most high failure part or low yield part. As i see now all the same as LPPL when final result should reflects on cost increase to secure good quality. Just receive email to know cost of particle counter cost at RM 1K for calibration. Wow what a day light robbery when company like us here pay for any equipment for calibration. Imagine if 2 units is there instead of just one here?Sound like some jealousy of others success. Can;t help as some major disaster happen at work place. One Nepal guy been deported due to showing anger of poor bonus payment. Another one been caught by Immigration due to work part time at restaurant place. Earlier we got one from Maint run away after been caught sleeping during weekend by corp security manager. All round up in one just pass time may not easy now this days. Since more and more customer return or complaint sure crack on our engineering seat.

Waiting for miracle to appeared as i look to be with my kids before they grow out to me mature lady where most adult left without look back for any passion or bonding relation. Yes always wait and wait just don't know when will this sight be reality.

During CNY time did visit my brother new house. Not at the price he bought but now his company related to US economy begun to cull working days and pay cut too. Ours here yet to know as we may sense some heat coming our way in March if not the same situation taken.

Working politic still much alive as can see how big they play. Recently our LPISM room lamp been change to UV white. Last heard affected solvent evaporated and cause Under develop.

Frustrated requested Maintenance to change back to yellow lamp all settle.

So long now for Feb hope March will shine upon me if not Us in company at least.

It's 20 mins past 2 am now. HAPPY Valentine DAY to my Family members.

Chinese New Year 2009

Half past Midnight into 3rd day of CNY. What a day past by with dashing across Penang Bridge. Yesterday, stuck in the Bridge enterance for over 90 minutes. Sometime really sick of the way Penang Bridge been handle without hope of ending daily Jam. This year of golden Ox which spell bad day on first day itself. All due to Solar Eclipse that occured on first day yesterday. Unfortunately felt a sleep after came back from Penang. Did not read through newspaper thus miss out this 2009 opening astronomy events. Just as it spell bad for all Chinese comunity, sure it affect us as dark sky fill days sky.

More bad news on the way as Economy not on track as many factory cut pay and shutdown.

Still not know if this to affect my company too. Hopefully no as we are on the clear side instead of clummy weather. Lazy and sleepy now as yesterday full night swinging on Radio.

Jan 2009

Into 2009 9 days now. Good start at this moment as financial will dry up within this weekend. Friday morning wake up check blog and some gutter bug news on topless Chinese actress photo snap at beach. Just read this news in today's paper. Seems to be not bother the actress at all. Well, not very well about economy front line. Heard yesterday my friend received call from his friend work in Fuji Electric Kulim shut down for 2 month till April still need to confirm if to report to work. So there goes my search to confirm this news. Found one of Engineer Blog from Fuji confirm this. Worry too if this happen here right of me. Think of something bad will anything good to overcome by. Take it as days it goes by.
My Dec post mention my best pal going to call it days did not make it as he retract back his resignation letter. Luckily or not nobody know.Too risk to gamble off as he survey most of factory bas been remove will turn the wave into school bas. Thus he put it behind one more year mean will forever i guess.Did mention to him about EPF about $500 or $6K per year will be lost if he quit.Anyhow if got chance and capital we want to start agricultural of pinang plant. May be a few stone of dream away only into reality.
Two week to enter the golden bull of shit into 2009. Because all the worry and fear it might bring. Unless something change for me. Hahahah. My Penang family also face some reshuffle of daily life.Nevertheless to ask 2nd to work in kindergarten care sound very unimaginative load to be shed off.All is not well as here too trying to appease some altar changes for better fortune. Might not know how well to come but if tomorrow never come what will our last resort?
As time pass by my eldest already start 5th year of kinder and my 2nd almost 8 months now. Tomorrow need to take her for injection. This to go on till over 12 months means still 4 month to go. As time pass 31st Dec, my eldest with me at Autocity juru waiting for count down. Did not make it as atmosphere tense while waiting for her mum after dinner with her friend. Try to pull time over midnight at Nasmir, still failed to count out. Only manage to watch firework from car drive.Least Xmas count down better than this.Time to continue as 2nd daughter wake up now 5 pm.